Something hit me.

Albert Eistein once said, "Remember your humanity, forget the rest."

I got up this morning, and I watched Horton Hears a Who. I got yelled at for my dirty room and as I'm cleaning out my bookshelf to get rid of old notebooks that have collected over the years and I ran into my old journal. It dated from 2002-2003. I immediately ran through every page in that book and was reminded by the various emotions I felt at the age of 12-13 and I never thought I could be so angry. I was the overly insecure girl who over-analyzed everything everyone said and figured the whole world was against me. While some of the time it was, I still wrote it all. I also remember how I felt when I first wrote all of those words and entries down. I had a feeling of paranoia, worried about who would read what I had written about everyone because I didn't want anyone to read how inadequate I felt. You'll have to read it some time, it's quite amusing. Maybe I'll type in an entry soon. It was the first journal that I ever actually 'finished', or so I thought. There were 3 extra pages that were not written in, so I stopped cleaning my room, grabbed a pen, and finished the book and updated my life. It has been over 5 years since I last wrote in that specific journal and I felt accomplished and so... fast forward to now, I just got back from H.E.B and finally they got in Folie A Deux, the new Fall Out boy cd and it is so amazing. In the first song there is a lyric, 'Detox just to retox.' That is so my life and We definitely can all apply this to our lives. You never really grow out of your many habits, good or bad, and so I feel a new air about me. I know that this new feeling of 'wanting to get everything done and mature in every way possible' will probably pass but I want it to last as long as possible because I think it will make me a better person. I also think that I am feeling this way only to please others. Trying to match up to the perfect person with no flaws, who has a nice room, dresses nice and always look clean cut and mature, someone who is not afraid to converse and has no reservations about anything, especially themself.

I'm thinking this won't last long, it never does. But for now, off to my room to soak in the rest of the cd and Patricks beautiful voice. If sex was a sound, that is definitely what it would be.

Hello, my name is Alexandra Olfati and I think I'm going crazy.

Still Stuck

Seneca once said, "I am like a book, with pages that have stuck together for want of use: my mind needs unpacking and the truths stored within must be turned over from time to time, to be ready when occasion demands."

Ever just want to sit in your bathtub and never leave?  Sit there with the curtain drawn like it's the door to the rest of reality?  It gets dark when you draw the curtains but a little light seeps through the top.  That's what I'm doing know, I'm sitting in my bathtub, typing away like I'm waiting for something.  Like something is going to happen.

It hasn't.

The Academy Is... was amazing! Katy and I got to meet some of the guys and talked with them, they are really down to earth and Katy and I found ourselves completely giddy after we spoke to William Beckett.  A little childish I know, but hey, what can I say.  

Hello, my name is Alexandra Olfati and this won't be my last post today.

Random Rant

Kurt Cobain once said, "The worst crime is faking it."

I don't get people

Today I was randomly reading over some reviews for the red album and everyone hates it!!!!!

It's not the fact that people hate it that gets me it the fact that people call themselves WEEZER FANS but hate everything else EXCEPT Blue and Pinkerton.  How is that possible.  You have no idea how much self control I had to use to keep myself from throwing my computer across the room! (not really but hey...)  How is being a fan hating about 75 percent of the work the band puts out.  Take a look, in order, the albums are: 

1. Weezer (Blue Album)

2. Pinkerton

3. Weezer (Green Album)

4. Maladroit

5. Make Believe

6. Weezer (Red Album)

Do you see how much fans hate??? How is that possible????

I only decided to write this because I got XBOX Live about 2 days ago and of course, I downloaded weezer and that's what got me to look around for old times sake.  UGH.  There is no point in favoring anything anymore if we can just pick and choose and say we are fans when we clearly are not.  That's like me saying I am OBSESSED with Rush when all I know is Tom Sawyer.  That's not how it works.

Hello.  My name Alexandra Olfati and I am a Weezer fan. =w=

Chapter One: New Beginnings

Vincent van Gogh once said, "What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?"

Day one: Beginning of school.  New World, New Life.  That is what I have decided to call this new blog.  College is a new world and it invokes a new life for us, whether we like it or not.  Only one day of classes has passed and I have already decided to change my major and minor.  Before it was major in Graphic Design, minor in Computer technology.  Now it's Major in Computer Technology, Minor in theatre.  I had my theatre class today and I fell in love with it again.  It's been a little over 2/3 months since I have been a part of a production of any kind and I forgot about the adrenaline rush that goes through your body and mind when you are onstage or backstage working on actors (getting them in the right costume or making sure not a hair is out of place).  The first production of the year will be The Shadowbox.  Following that for this semester will be The Jungle Book.  Excited!

It's great to go to school and see people for who they really are, not wearing green skirts and multicolored lanyards.  In the past, I have secluded myself from the rare few who are themselves and nothing else, no act.  I felt like this was something that I couldn't be because I was ashamed of what I liked, who I listened to, what I read, what I wore.  Going to a school that is so small as my middle school or IW was that it was hard to honestly be yourself without 'copying' someone else.  Yes, even in high school people were still doing this.  Even though I knew it was stupid and ridiculous, I still did what I was expected from people and pretended to be something that I wasn't, whatever that may be.  Looking back now, even after this one day of college, I can't believe how incredibly immature almost everyone was in high school.  Not everyone was this way but all of the fourth grade drama and the whole, 'you're not in my club anymore' stuff is embarrassing now.  If there is one thing I hope to get out of life, it is to never get the mentality that most girls get when they get a boyfriend.  Consumed.  Not naming names but I know there is one name that automatically pops up in the minds of the readers I know, however many their are [only allie XP]  but there were more then that and you know it.  

Thinking back now, it's embarrassing to admit that I never was myself.  It is the truth.  Now the question is:  Is the world ready for who I really am?  Am I?  I still don't know the answer but I feel this freedom will be given to me, or so I think.  It was offered to me freshman year but to me once you meet everyone as a certain person, you are, in a way, stuck in that wedge you have given yourself.  That's just what I think.  It seems a bit weird to start freshman year off one way and then start sophomore year off as a different person.  People, I have found don't like change.  The person who comes back different may lose friends because the friends might no longer like the person he/she has become.  That was a problem I felt wasn't necessary to face.  So, I decided to stay the same loser who read Manga and listened to Linkin Park and Green Day, hanging out with people who were completely fake and who were interested in the same things I was, still am.  Don't get me wrong, that was all a part of who I was but it is how I carried it was what mattered.  I made my bed and I laid in it.  There were a few people who I knew were honest in their feeling of friendship towards me but another think about IW that we all know is true:  Everyone is fake.  

Throughout high school there were few things that ever made me laugh honestly and that was something that I hid very well, or so I think.  I had gotten used to a fake laugh that I had given myself and I think after a while, a few people bought it.  I didn't, and I know some others didn't either but you kind of have to laugh at things to get people to shut up.  There are a lot of things you have to do to get people to shut up. 

Looking back at this blog I have realized that I am now rambling.  

I should end it here.

Hello, my name is Alexandra Olfati and I is a coledge stoodent.