Day one: Beginning of school. New World, New Life. That is what I have decided to call this new blog. College is a new world and it invokes a new life for us, whether we like it or not. Only one day of classes has passed and I have already decided to change my major and minor. Before it was major in Graphic Design, minor in Computer technology. Now it's Major in Computer Technology, Minor in theatre. I had my theatre class today and I fell in love with it again. It's been a little over 2/3 months since I have been a part of a production of any kind and I forgot about the adrenaline rush that goes through your body and mind when you are onstage or backstage working on actors (getting them in the right costume or making sure not a hair is out of place). The first production of the year will be The Shadowbox. Following that for this semester will be The Jungle Book. Excited!
It's great to go to school and see people for who they really are, not wearing green skirts and multicolored lanyards. In the past, I have secluded myself from the rare few who are themselves and nothing else, no act. I felt like this was something that I couldn't be because I was ashamed of what I liked, who I listened to, what I read, what I wore. Going to a school that is so small as my middle school or IW was that it was hard to honestly be yourself without 'copying' someone else. Yes, even in high school people were still doing this. Even though I knew it was stupid and ridiculous, I still did what I was expected from people and pretended to be something that I wasn't, whatever that may be. Looking back now, even after this one day of college, I can't believe how incredibly immature almost everyone was in high school. Not everyone was this way but all of the fourth grade drama and the whole, 'you're not in my club anymore' stuff is embarrassing now. If there is one thing I hope to get out of life, it is to never get the mentality that most girls get when they get a boyfriend. Consumed. Not naming names but I know there is one name that automatically pops up in the minds of the readers I know, however many their are [only allie XP] but there were more then that and you know it.
Thinking back now, it's embarrassing to admit that I never was myself. It is the truth. Now the question is: Is the world ready for who I really am? Am I? I still don't know the answer but I feel this freedom will be given to me, or so I think. It was offered to me freshman year but to me once you meet everyone as a certain person, you are, in a way, stuck in that wedge you have given yourself. That's just what I think. It seems a bit weird to start freshman year off one way and then start sophomore year off as a different person. People, I have found don't like change. The person who comes back different may lose friends because the friends might no longer like the person he/she has become. That was a problem I felt wasn't necessary to face. So, I decided to stay the same loser who read Manga and listened to Linkin Park and Green Day, hanging out with people who were completely fake and who were interested in the same things I was, still am. Don't get me wrong, that was all a part of who I was but it is how I carried it was what mattered. I made my bed and I laid in it. There were a few people who I knew were honest in their feeling of friendship towards me but another think about IW that we all know is true: Everyone is fake.
Throughout high school there were few things that ever made me laugh honestly and that was something that I hid very well, or so I think. I had gotten used to a fake laugh that I had given myself and I think after a while, a few people bought it. I didn't, and I know some others didn't either but you kind of have to laugh at things to get people to shut up. There are a lot of things you have to do to get people to shut up.
Looking back at this blog I have realized that I am now rambling.
I should end it here.
Hello, my name is Alexandra Olfati and I is a coledge stoodent.
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