Something hit me.

Albert Eistein once said, "Remember your humanity, forget the rest."

I got up this morning, and I watched Horton Hears a Who. I got yelled at for my dirty room and as I'm cleaning out my bookshelf to get rid of old notebooks that have collected over the years and I ran into my old journal. It dated from 2002-2003. I immediately ran through every page in that book and was reminded by the various emotions I felt at the age of 12-13 and I never thought I could be so angry. I was the overly insecure girl who over-analyzed everything everyone said and figured the whole world was against me. While some of the time it was, I still wrote it all. I also remember how I felt when I first wrote all of those words and entries down. I had a feeling of paranoia, worried about who would read what I had written about everyone because I didn't want anyone to read how inadequate I felt. You'll have to read it some time, it's quite amusing. Maybe I'll type in an entry soon. It was the first journal that I ever actually 'finished', or so I thought. There were 3 extra pages that were not written in, so I stopped cleaning my room, grabbed a pen, and finished the book and updated my life. It has been over 5 years since I last wrote in that specific journal and I felt accomplished and so... fast forward to now, I just got back from H.E.B and finally they got in Folie A Deux, the new Fall Out boy cd and it is so amazing. In the first song there is a lyric, 'Detox just to retox.' That is so my life and We definitely can all apply this to our lives. You never really grow out of your many habits, good or bad, and so I feel a new air about me. I know that this new feeling of 'wanting to get everything done and mature in every way possible' will probably pass but I want it to last as long as possible because I think it will make me a better person. I also think that I am feeling this way only to please others. Trying to match up to the perfect person with no flaws, who has a nice room, dresses nice and always look clean cut and mature, someone who is not afraid to converse and has no reservations about anything, especially themself.

I'm thinking this won't last long, it never does. But for now, off to my room to soak in the rest of the cd and Patricks beautiful voice. If sex was a sound, that is definitely what it would be.

Hello, my name is Alexandra Olfati and I think I'm going crazy.